This is where the old saying “one rule for him and another for you” comes into play. Whilst the ex was young free and single being a lad about town, he believed this shouldn’t apply to me. He assumed I would be at home crying over the past- facebook stalking him.
How wrong he was.
They say the best way to get over a man is to get under another. I understand that comment will be frowned upon by some people, however personally I believe this is the single most important piece of advice I have ever received. Now do not get me wrong, after being with the same person for 4 years from a young age, apprehension does not even slightly cover the feelings I had about being intimate with someone other than my ex.
However it did not take long for help to arrive in the form of a male friend. After a few drunken nights of flirting and enjoying each others company, the moment arrived when I thought “what the hell, just go for it.” Encouraged slightly by a few alcoholic beverages one thing led to another, and before I knew it my former friend was seeing me in whole new light- tan lines and all. This would not be the first and last time I found myself falling into the arms of my “friend”. However after a few drunken fumbles, the novelty wore off and i wanted something more than what i was receiving.
I do not advise using male friends as rebounds- as much as this worked a treat. It did finish slightly messy and my idea of no strings I later found was not the same as his- one person always becomes attached. However this experience gave me the confidence to realise sex isn’t taboo and in fact is not as scary as I once thought. The idea of being naked with someone other than a long term partner horrified me. Now though, I can see how liberating the experience actually is.
Whilst I was off enjoying myself without a care in the world, pushing the troubles of my past to the side, my ex was completely unaware of my activities (due to my choice to keep things private). However after a string of dead end dates and drunken snogs, by fate i met a keeper (more on those stories later). And it was by pure accident one morning that the pair of us should drive passed my ex. I instantly knew what was coming. That day a barrage of texts overtook my phone. Who was i with? What was i doing? Did i still love him; do we have a chance together?
Now hang on a minute let’s get this straight. This is the same guy that a few weeks earlier was telling me how “he’d been with so many girls he’d lost count”. Well the tables had certainly turned now. His rule was that he could see other people and do what he liked- but my rule was the opposite. Obviously this was not the case, and the ex did not take kindly to this new information. The situation i found myself in showed me two things.
1) My ex is an arrogant arsehole that believes the sun shines out of his backside and i could never find another him (good because i certainly wouldn’t want another him.)
2) i could do so much better- which i was in many ways. From that day he stopped contacting me completely. I thought i would feel sad but in fact felt quite the opposite. It was a relief. I felt enlightened and optimistic about the future- like i could do anything i set my mind too. And this, my readers, is where the journey really takes off...
Remember the glass is always half full...